My Loves

because you are so loved.

Hi, friends! It has been so long since my last post and I miss you immensely. Over the last...oh...seven years, I have tried with all my might to blog on a regular basis and I've promised the moon and stars. Today, I will promise this, I want to write. I think of all of you often. I am going to take it one post, one day, at a time. Here is my love for today...

Some of you may recognize the beginning of this from the newsletter on my last birthday. Consider this my mission statement. 

I always thought "by the time I'm 40 I will have it all figured out". Now that 40 is ever so near I am letting go of that. I don't want to have it all figured out. I want to learn and grow and heal. I want to live with grace. I want to let go of perfection. I want to laugh and love loudly. I want to breath and hug slowly. I want my eyes to always be open to the beauty and heart ache of life. I want to soak every bit of it in. I want to dance in my kitchen. I want to say yes to what's important and no to what isn't...and I want the courage to know the difference. I want to use every single fall along my journey as a chance to grow and heal and learn the deep lessons that only the falls can teach. I want to know that my unique sensitivity to life is never a weakness, even when it feels like it's a heavy burden to bare. I want to dip my toes into the ocean as much as I can. I want to collect all the seashells I can carry in my hands. I want the sand to find it's way into every nook and cranny of my car, my towels, my hair, and anywhere else it tends to find because it means I was there. I didn't worry about the mess...I worried about the joy. I want to sit alone with God every morning before the sun even rises. I want to sing even though I never seem to know the right words or have the right melody. I want to walk and run and hike because I have legs that will carry me. I want to cry...I want to cry every tear that needs to escape my eyes because tears mean I feel and feeling means I am alive and I am human. I want to hold hands. I want to witness the majesty of God's creation ALL around me, in all the ordinary moments because God created every bit of it...and created ME. I was worthy of creation. I want to run through the sprinklers. I want to embrace my curly hair and my thighs. I want to wear the swimsuit. I want my life to be dictated by joy...not anxiety...not fear...not depression...not trauma...not worry of what others may think or the need to please...not unhealthy food choices. I, also, want to eat the damn cake because every now and then we need cake in our lives people. I want to blow out all the candles and make all the wishes on shooting stars. I want to kiss. Oh how I love kisses. I want to dig in my garden and eat fresh tomatoes and strawberries before they ever make it to the kitchen. I want to love the world the best I can and I want to love my people with fierceness. 

My best friend likes to remind me that on our last day of elementary school (for us that was 4th grade) I cried and said "but things will never be the same". What I didn't realize then was the same is true for every single day of our lives. This day will never be the same as the day before. This too shall pass. Life will continue to move quickly and things will continue to change. Time, like all the best things in life, is bitter sweet. It gives us life and love and moments that we will always cherish, but it also takes them away. My sweet little boy who I can still hold in my arms will, hopefully, one day be too big to pick up, will no longer ask for "night night tickles" or for "one more minute". The spins and kisses and hand holding I get from the one I said "I do" to are not guaranteed for tomorrow. The only choice I have is to love. The only regret I don't want is the one that says I didn't love enough. 

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Why? Because I am already loved. YOU are already loved. We are loved for our imperfections, not despite them. Each thing that makes up your life...my life...each tear, each heart ache, each fear, each worry, each mistake, each joy, each laugh, each struggle, each trauma, each beauty filled, breath taking, brutal..soul stomping..awful...thing in your life and my life...is just another color of who we are. Sometimes it may look messy up close, right in the middle of it where all the noise is.  Some days it will feel dark and lonely and like there is no color left in the world and you'll feel like you can't breath. Some days you'll be filled with so much color and light and beauty that your heart will nearly burst with joy. Some days we'll feel lost. Some days we'll feel content. When the clutter clears, and the dust settles, we will look back and see the artistry in the colors...the artistry in the dark and in the light...the artistry in our becoming. Not becoming who society or our fears tell us we should be. Becoming the one love and life has made us to be. Sometimes full of happiness...sometimes full of darkness...full of joy...perfectly imperfect humans. Loved. Love. 

The words "everything happens for a reason" use to roll smoothly off my tongue. Now, I hesitate. I hesitate because I've seen childhood cancer and I know I cannot look at those parents and say those very words. What I do believe is this...there is always love. In that love...there is beauty. Beauty isn't always light...love isn't always easy or even visible. Beautiful, awful, heart wrenching, things full of life and purpose can come from the darkest of days. We live in a broken world full of pain, and at the same time, we live in a joyful world full of beauty. Each make up our unique painting that can be used to bring more love into the world.

My purpose is this...to use my dark...to use my light...to use my sadness and fear...to use my happiness and joy...to use my trauma...to use my life...to use my love...my arms...my voice...my unique painting...my camera...to love the people in front of me...and to remind them they are loved.

So much love,

Cilla

Spring & Summer Session Scheduling Open | Priscilla Baierlein Photography {Central KY Family Photographer}

Happy Spring y'all! No? Not Spring yet? I'll just pretend then. I feel like I've been hibernating the last couple months...only peeking my head out to say a quick "hi" or show pictures of delicious maple bacon donuts (yeah...I went there...if you're not following me on Instagram then you're missing out on such beautiful deliciousness). It has been for a greater purpose...although hibernating to sleep would've been nice too. Sometimes I feel my heart just simply scream for change, so that's what I did. I changed a lot of the backend of the business. I haven't made it to the website yet (although I did make my current layout flow a bit better...easier to understand...less fluffy words...is that a thing), but that's next. Let's see...

* "Live In" sessions (which are basically puffed up day in the life sessions...lasting 12-24 hours instead of 8...I basically become your child for a entire day)...and Vacation session (puffed up day in the life sessions held in far away lands...or the lake...or camping...or...ah you get it...I get to spend time with you on your vacation...that's all I know...Mom...you IN pictures on vacation...yay) are now being offered (yippee!)

* All sessions (with the exception of minis) are charged a session fee and all prints, etc. are purchased separately. This means it's less of an up front investment on the day in the life and birth sessions than in the past. Leaving more room for customizing everything to exactly what you want.

*All collections now include unlimited printing rights of all high resolution digital files on a pretty little flash drive and online download and most feature my favorite boutique products

*Mini sessions are now only being offered 4 times a year! I basically narrowed them down to the most popular months. I am so excited about the locations (note that these locations are also available for Signature Sessions if you'd rather have something a bit longer but love the idea of these locations). Be sure to check out the calendar HERE for all the dates and locations.

*Galleries will now be viewed on a slideshow that can be seen (and heard) your computer, smart phone, or tablet.

*The new proofing/ordering page is a dream. The images are all laid out in a pinterest style. You click on an image and you can view it larger, save your favorites, compare favorites, easily order, share with friends and family, etc.

*All pre session information back on the client lounge.

*Not offering standout mounts any more, but if you have ordered one in the past, they will still be available to you.

*And lots more little details that you will just have to see for yourself...hint...hint.

With that said...Spring and Summer scheduling has started! This year is shaping up to be a busy one. It had been years since I had a birth and day in the life session scheduled and now I have three births and a day in the life session scheduled since before the new year. Not to mention all the signature sessions. I've heard so many beautiful stories and met so many who love so loudly. I recently schedule a session with someone who said they had been waiting three years to schedule a session with me, but just knew that if they moved without having a session with her family they would regret it. That was such a wonderful compliment. I'm already in love with their family and their session sounds like a dream...full of baking, jumping on couch pillows, playing airplane, playing in the mud...a photographer's dream.

Folks, it's going to be a beautiful year.

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Since I barely blogged anything about our family last year...here's a little peek out how much our little man has grown. This is actually from October 2014. So he's an even bigger big boy now. Oh and he sure does know it. Some things he likes to say right now...

"I do whatever I want"

"Put yous hair in a ponytail...you're nice when it's in a ponytail"  (what?)

"Don't say that at me"

But he also says

"I love you mamma" sweeter than anything I've ever heard in my entire life

"Nuggle wis me" (Snuggle with me)

"Thank you for fixin dinner mamma"

Favorites include playing pirates, the big bad wolf, dancing, banding, snuggling on the couch while watching movies, "hiding", and "working" with me.

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These next few pictures are proof that as long as you have good light, you can hold a session any where. These were squeezed in between a gas station, a dumpster, and a strip of stores/offices, with the high way and huge billboard in the back. You can see the blue dumpster in one. 

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Oh and he loves superheroes too. Of course. 

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Also I'm so excited that one of my most favorite photos has made it to the final 10% of the 2015 Shoot & Share Photo Contest in the family category. Yippee! I never enter contests, so this is super exciting. Only one day left to vote. Eek!

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I can't wait to see your beautiful faces this year!

Peace and love,

Cilla

travel...anxiety...journeys...and seasons

I'm going to let you in on a little secret, my husband and I don't do road trips well together. I am full of nerves and anxiety on long drives. Even I can admit it is not my finest quality. I love adventure and love travel, but the problem is getting there. I'm not all that fond of flying either, but it's over so much quicker and I'm not constantly nagging Bret for his driving. I will take flying over driving 13 hours any day. This year...for practical reasons that didn't seem so practical later on...we decided to drive. The trip started out promising with a nice long breakfast, the relaxing vacation feeling, dancing, and singing. It wasn't long before the overwhelming anxiety set in. And now that we have a little one in the back seat for which we are responsible and love more than anything, the anxiety is even worse. See, it's not so bad when I drive. I know...completely irrational. But I KNOW what I can see and how I'm going to react. I have no idea for sure if he saw those break lights or that stop light. Trust me...I know how impossible this is. After tricking, I mean, convincing Bret to let me drive , I was set. Smooth sailing. When we FINALLY arrive and have a bit of sleep, we go to enjoy our day. Then...we all get a virus! What? Y'all. You just don't know how much I love vacation. I have loved it even more since having Steff. It's so peaceful and we are all so happy. To get a virus in our happiest place, well, that's just not even right. Steff and I were the last to get it. My philosophy was we were going to enjoy the sand and sun and beautiful ocean no matter what. Steff and I had the first day on the beach as a mommy day date. I loved watching the waves crash up against his toes as he would giggle and run away, only to run right back. This was peace. It's because of this day that I realized there is no place on Earth that God is more present than the ocean. The interaction between Steff and the waves reminded me of playing Tag as a little girl. Only he was playing tag with the ocean, perhaps with God. The drive, the virus, it was all worth it. It's a little like life. The process, the waiting, getting "there", isn't always fun. Doesn't seem like it will ever end. But it does, and you do get there. And it's all worth it. It all passes and feels like only a little blip of time. It felt like we would never make it to FL, but we did. And goodness did God, on His time, let us know it was worth it. The same with our infertility journey. It felt like we would never have a child. It felt like God was saying no. The journey, oh, the journey felt as if it would last forever. But here we are. Over three years later. And when he gives me a bear hug or kisses my cheek or makes me laugh or even drives me crazy, I know it's all worth it. There are days that I don't feel equipped. Maybe even most days at times. But I do know that he was worth the journey. We had to make it through that season to get to the next. To be the people we were to become. Just the same as this season and the next. It all will pass and pass too quickly. Speaking of passing a bit too quickly...of course, vacation did just that. Here's a little look into our, mostly, peaceful two weeks.

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Speaking of God being so obviously present...

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Summer Schedule Update

Anyone with a toddler knows that we all welcome the warm weather. No more sitting in the house with a cranky toddler. I may or may not be terrible at entertaining. We love warm weather. Bubbles, chalk, gardening, "washing" toy cars on the deck, and the list goes on. He mostly enjoys pushing the limits of how far he can get from us before we reign him back in. For some reason, he loves playing in the driveway. We try to keep him in the part where we can see him and he doesn't risk getting hit by someone pulling in. It's a constant battle. I love working in the garden and he likes going where I can't see him. He's just Mr. Independent. He does also love to be in the garden, but only for five minute increments. With the warm weather comes more sessions and vacation planning. I go through spurts where I get mildly obsessed with planning our vacation.

I am also thrilled...absolutely thrilled about so many of my upcoming sessions.

Don't forget that the popular Fair minis are at the end of this month and the Summer Camp sessions will be just following in June. All May and June Saturday evenings are filled up with only one Saturday morning available in June. Fridays are always last to be booked, so I do have some openings there. Also, if neither of these will work for you, please email or call and we will see what else we can work out as I have a little weekday flexibility at the moment. July and August are a bit more open right now, but that will change as we get into summer.

To reserve your session today, please follow the steps at http://www.priscillabphotography.com/blog/reservesession/ or simply contact me at priscilla@priscillabphotography.com or 859-792-6838.

Here are just a few recent images of my little Superman. He pretty much thinks he's big stuff.

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Peace and so much love,

Cilla