KY lifestyle child and family photographer

Oh my beautiful beautiful cousin, Hebby, who makes me giggle, who reminds me of myself (but a bit more giggly), who has the most gorgeous eyes, who is going to do big big things with her life, and who makes me feel….SO OLD! Yes, my baby cousin that I remember baby sitting and spending countless days watching Blues Clues with when I was in high school. This very same cousin is now going to be a freshman in COLLEGE! This weekend she will taking a big step and moving into her first apartment. I know she’s nervous, but I also know how this is going to change her life. Here she will begin to truly find herself. She will make new friendships that will last a life time. She will learn how to cook Ramen noodles…and anything else you can fix in a microwave in 10 minutes. She will miss family and high school friends terribly, but it will make her appreciate them even more. She will stress, cram for tests, study harder then she’s ever studied before, and believe these professors MUST think this is the only class she has. She will probably be like me and embrace wearing pajamas to those early classes…or at least sweat pants (and then quickly realize not to schedule early classes).  Okay…and she may go to two or three parties…but she will be a very good girl at those parties. She may be nervous and not sure that she can do it, but I KNOW she can. That was me. Excited, but scared to death. She will quickly learn to balance cooking, cleaning (maybe not that part), laundry, studying, class, and a busy social life filled with amazing new friends. It will be stressful and hard at times, but it will all come together.

Heather…I’m so unbelievably proud of you and I’m not that far away. I can fix a really good country dinner. Maybe not quite like Angie’s, but still good! You and Chris are welcome at our house any time!!!!!!

Did I mention she giggles….A LOT!?! I love love love her laugh.

Here’s the little girl I remember. Some how she shot up before I had a chance to realize what was going on. The picture on the left is the year before I graduated high school. The picture on the right is the Christmas after I left for college.

A couple weeks ago, while editing and listening to something unexpected (a sermon), I felt the need to start writing this post. Considering I was editing photos, and though I am excellent at multi-tasking, I really needed photoshop open and at least one hand free to push the keys, I decided to jot down my thoughts. They flowed so easily then. I felt inspired. Inspired by something outside of me. I’m not sure that the writing had a purpose or a planned outcome, but I am sure I did not see it taking the turn it did. I happen to be quite wonderful at starting projects and not finishing them, this has sat on my desk, unfinished, since then. Not sure what kind of ending will come of it, but the beginning and the middle should be the same.

I sat. I listened. Letting every. word. soak. in.

“Where ever you are, where ever you live, where ever you work, live out the legacy which Mary Magdeline lived: preach, teach, and proclaim the miraculous acts of our Savior. Live your legacy!”

“Whether you work in the White House or the warehouse, God has a plan for you.” Bianca Juarez

Legacy. It’s a word I’ve thought a lot about over the last six months or so. Bret will say, “It’s okay. We don’t have to have kids. We can be happy just the two of us.” Most of the time I believe him. I agree. I know this is happening for a reason and all will be okay. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t think to myself on more than one occasion, “but who will tell our story? What kind of legacy will we leave? Who will tell the next generation about our love, the way we tease each other, dance around the kitchen, or even ’slap box’? Who will even care?” I fear there would be no stories of how Grandma and Grandpa (aka…us) met at Red Lobster when they were in college, how our love was strong enough to make it through the toughest of times, about our unwavering faith in each other. In God. I wish I could say I never worried about those things, but in an effort to “keep it real”, I have to admit that I do. The thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks. They make a sneak attack and sink into my soul when I least expect it. I’m not strong enough to hold them back and they’re strong enough to knock me down. I’ll be happy with everything, and understanding, and then BAM, I’m lost again.

Everything happens for a reason. This sentence has seen me through every single trial in my life. I was constantly reminded of this growing up (often times it was hidden with the sentence “if it’s the Lord’s will”) and Bret and I have had to remind ourselves of it a lot recently. I was reminded today as I was listening to Bianca speak. She said that it doesn’t matter where you are, you are there for a reason. You do not have to be in a third world country to make a difference. We all can change the world. When I was a child this was my driving force. Mommy just knew that I was meant for great things (although I’m not quite sure if that was through a modeling career, singing, the church, or reading/writing. These are all things she saw in my future. lol) She raised me with this feeling that I could do anything. Over the years this feeling has weakened, my definition of success has changed, my definition of changing the world has shifted. Bianca speaks of the many women through out the Bible, through out history, who we know as changing the world and we speak of their legacy. Did they realize this? Did they feel like they were making a difference, let alone changing the world? Did they know their legacy would be told time after time? Sometimes one simple act of kindness can make a difference in a way that you can’t even imagine. Let me see if I can get this right. Biance said something like this…You change yourself, you can change your home. You change your home, you can change your community. You change your community, you can change your state. You change your state, you can change a nation. You change a nation, you can change the world.

Even though our life hasn’t gone as we planned (heck this blog entry hasn’t even done that). We don’t have a house full of children. I’m not the little football Mom that I always imagined I would be. God has a plan for us. God has a plan for you. Our house IS filled with love, laughter, and all that dancing I was talking about. As my friend Andrea and I always say, we are not content on waiting and seeing what is to be. We want to KNOW what’s going to happen. I can’t stand not knowing the answers. Over the last month or so Bret and I have gone back and forth with our options. What does God want us to do? We searched and searched for the answers….and so did friends (thank you Dawn and Andrea). I tried to read every sign. Want to know what I realized? I really suck at reading signs. You know why? I was asking too much. I wasn’t listening. I’m not saying that I’ve seen the light and know the answer. We still have no clue. But our options for having children are narrowing some what. You would think this would depress me. I thought it would, but it doesn’t. I feel closer to the answers. I know that no matter the plan “all things work for good for those who love God”. It may not be the plan we have in mind, but it all happens for a reason.

Please don’t feel that I am sitting here preaching to you or saying everyone should think the way I do or even that I always feel this way. I know I don’t have the answers. I know what’s right and what’s true for me is not that way for others. The fact is that I have struggled lately with how I feel about organized religion and my faith in general. Truth be told, I’ve always struggled. Not really with my faith. I know how I feel in my heart, but is that the way I SHOULD feel. There’s so much hateful rhetoric lately. Seems like everyone’s judging, spitting out words from the Bible to defend this or that. It just all feels dirty and negative. It just doesn’t feel like that’s what was intended. Where is the love in that? Then I was listening to Part 3 of this Women’s Series: The Scandalous Message of James (you can find this podcast on iTunes. I just did a search for Calvary Chapel Montebellow. My favorite is Chapter 2, Part 1), where Bianca reminds us to speak truth with love. You can be speaking all the truth you want, but if it’s in a hateful manner, to prove a point, and is empty of love, than it means nothing. This doesn’t spread the love of God. It can make the person think “Is this what God would think of me? Is this the way God would speak to me?”

So many of the messages from this series have stuck with me. You should see my poor desk. I have post it notes every where with little quotes. “You never know God is all you need until God is all you have.” “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” “Mercy triumphs over justice.” “When we demean others, we are demeaning the image of the Lord.” She speaks of accepting everyone. Loving everyone. Living out Gods message through our lives. THIS is the God I know. I needed this. I needed to be reminded that what’s been in my heart is still there. It’s real. That God does have a plan. We can live a life of meaning, even if it’s not the one we intended.

Since I can’t have a blog post with out a pretty photo, here’s the topic of my next blog entry….my baby cousin who’s off to college very soon!

I love having a best friend with two of the cutest kids. I need a model really quickly…she has two. As some of you may know, I have a display at the local children’s boutique, Hopscotch. They have recently relocated, which provided the opportunity to add more and move things around! I immediately wanted new pictures of kiddos wearing their clothes. In comes B to the rescue! Although, I’m not sure she was thrilled about being a model once we got in the mist of all the games and rides, she was pumped about it while we were getting ready! Who wouldn’t be with this adorable outfit! Hint, hint…all their summer clothes are 50% off! You will be reading much more about Hopscotch soon…very soon!  But for now, take a look at our fun fun night at the fair!

If only you knew how difficult it was to get this shot. I invisioned a casual shot of her holding the cotton candy down by her side with the cute boots and skirt. Let’s just say B was REALLY into the modeling. Imagine Vanna White, only showing off cotton candy instead of letters and new cars. I think it ended up quite perfect when I caught her in between poses!

Oh…and J couldn’t have been any cuter! Seriously! I heard that the other superheroes shirt I conveniently left at their house, was worn for a couple days. “J-ey wear dis shirt”…then to bed…then the next day “J-ey wear dis shirt again”. It melted my heart when Andrea told me. Pretty sure it drove her crazy, but I loved that something I gave him made him so happy

Besides very colorful pictures of the kiddos wearing cute clothes, I also invisioned very grainy black and white pictures…not for the store, but for us! These are some of my favs.

I couldn’t go to a fair, at night, with out getting pictures of the rides with all their colors and lines The last is my absolute favorite!

Thank you Andrea for always being there when I need you…with models and with support and love.

Peace and much much love,

Cilla

* I am old. It’s official. I am. You know how I know? I was jump-up-and-down-excited about this….

But it’s awesome. I just imagine beautiful, colorful, yummy meals starting on the stove top to get good and brown and then moving to the oven to complete. Onions, garlic, chicken, red pepper…oh my! As an added bonus, I can totally use it as a weapon in case of zombie attacks. Just sayin. Or Bret getting mouthy…it’s good for that too Jk…I would never promote violence

* Another reason I know I’m old? Well, you would think my lack of blogging to wish you a happy 4th of July would have something to do with us having lots of fun festivities to attend. Nope…it’s because I was so exhausted the first half of the day from the wedding the night before, then cleaned rest of the day. Oh…wait…we did go to Bob Evans. Lots of fun times to be had there.

* Thank you for all the kind comments and support for my list. It was so exciting to hear about everyone who had been inspired to make their own list! I can officially mark off #136. Shortly after the blog entry, I had 7 people message me or comment on facebook saying they were starting a list!!! I also had offers to help with my sushi lunch The one that probably meant the most to me was a client saying I could mark off #31, which was to make a difference with my photography. You may remember this beautiful family. I was blessed to meet them through Inspiration Through Art (formerly Littlest Heroes Project). Thanks to Colleen, I am so excited that I will get to work with another family through the same project this year. After I thought about it, I don’t think I would ever give myself permission to mark that item off the list. To know that it made a difference to their family absolutely melts my heart and makes me happy. I feel so honored and proud to mark that one off the list now. As much as the list is about me, it’s the list items that are about others that make me the happiest.

* Speaking of the list…I am so proud of Andrea, the one who inspired me to start my list, my best friend. She completed one of her biggest list items, the one that inspired her to start her list and to make a life change. She completed a 5K without walking! Considering I thought I would pass out after running two 60 second intervals, this is amazing to me. How fast she went from not running at all, to this is just wonderful. She was so excited and we were excited for her. This wasn’t even the 5K she was shooting for. It was more of a practice 5K, but she did it. I see many more of these in her future. She took something that she didn’t think she could do, she pushed herself and stuck to it, fought through the misery, and is now officially a runner. Andrea and I have been so much alike. We try something, if we don’t like it, we don’t do it again. Even if it’s something we just tried once, like my running experiment or the time I thought I would run cross country in high school (thanks Vern for that!) or play basketball in 8th grade. So, this is why I’m so proud of Andrea. She didn’t make excuses. She just did it because she wanted to prove to herself she could.

* Eclipse! Oh my! Okay…so I fought it for as long as I could. I would not read the Twilight books or watch the movies. Those Twilight fans were just too crazy. Then, out of boredom, one day I decided to rent Twilight. I was completely surprised by how much I liked it, but still not enought to be crazy like those “Twihards”. Then Andrea did it. She read the books. Then our friend Tina did it. She BOUGHT me Twilight and New Moon. I read. I was hooked. Then I had my surgery and Andrea let me borrow Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. After the surgery I was so down. I got completely lost in the character’s love triangle and all the drama that went along with it. I couldn’t believe that I was giggling out loud at the funny things Jacob said, or sitting on the edge of my seat during the battles. I could go on, but I’m sure many of you are thinking “Really? Come on..” But they gave me a place to escape to. I couldn’t put the books down and would read them in one day. Andrea and I went to see the midnight showing of New Moon (actually I guess that’s when I got hooked, and then it went deeper when I read the books), so we had to do it again for Eclipse. This time our friend Donna joined us. We felt like the biggest dorks, but loved every minute of it. Yes…I am 30 years old and in love with Twilight. I will have to say that I felt a little better when the woman beside me in the theater was much older than me and was getting a bigger kick out of Jacob having his shirt off than I was. Or maybe I was just scared that would be me one day.

* I found peanuts in my purse. Yep…you read that right. Peanuts. I don’t mean nicely contained in a bag either. How did they get there? Nope…no chipmunks or squirrels saving up for winter. More like our best friend John wanting to see how long it would take me to realize it. So…three days later (yes three days…at least!), I’m searching for something in my purse and Bret hears “Bbbrrreeetttt….why do I have peanuts in my purse?” I have to admit, we got a very good laugh out of it. Maybe I’ll think twice before making John sit my purse on his side of the booth. It reminds me of the many items I’ve had to hide from him. Tennis ball, lemons, coasters. Why? Because he likes to throw them at me…or put them in our bed or in my chair or some other random place when I’m not looking. Yes…he is truly like my brother. We pick at each other constantly. It’s the “III”mmm nnnoootttt ttttooouuuccchhhiiiinnnggg yyyyoooouuuu” with the finger right in front of my face, type of picking. I’m kind of nervous for John to get a girlfriend. I’m not sure what they’ll think about how we pick at each other. Bret just ignores it. lol. It’s not all sunshines. We fight too. Did I mention the picking? He likes to say things just to make me mad. And he’s good at it. But I love him. And so does EVERY ONE who meets him. Here’s our lovable John…

* Now, I promise I have lots of sessions to blog. Sometimes it’s hard to pick which ones to blog, edit them and blog them. I have like 5…so get ready this week for a blog marathon

Peace and much much love,

Cilla

It’s 8:30 am. I started writing at 8:00 am. Thirty minutes have gone by and I still can’t find the words. The truth is I simply don’t know how to thank him. How to describe him. If you know Mikie McKinney, the man who I am lucky enough to have had as a Father figure through out my life, you know there’s no one on Earth like him. Since I was just a little girl, there has not been one other person that I have looked up to more than him. He has been the only Dad I have ever known. The only Dad I would care to know. Being that by blood, he is my uncle, he never HAD to be my Dad. He could simply be that really cool uncle I know, but he stepped in and fulfilled that roll without hesitation. Some of my favorite memories when I lived with Mommy were of Mikie coming to pick me up and take me to the little country store down the road, Holt’s Market. I know I’ve told this story before, but when it’s a favorite, I believe it’s aloud to be told more than once. He would pick me up in an old truck, or his car hauler, or wrecker. There’s something comforting about the smell of an old truck to me. I can’t even describe it. I guess it just smells like oil and hard work. I can still hear the sound of the truck. That old truck sound, like it could fall apart at any moment, but it didn’t. It always got us to where we needed to be, like Holt’s Market. I guess this is why I love old country stores. There’s no better ham sandwich than the one you can get there. He would always get me a ham sandwich, a snickers bar, and a Pepsi. Oh…and my favorite part….a lottery ticket. Such a simple memory. So many of my childhood memories seem so jumbled, but this is one I can always remember so clearly. Driving around and spending days with Mikie and my other uncles and that old truck smell were some of my happiest times. I know later in Mommy’s life, she talked about where I would go if anything happened to her. There was never a question about where I wanted to go, where she wanted me to be. Just before she passed away, the question came up of where I needed to be. The dr’s asked me where I wanted to go and I instantly knew. He just responded with “I told Mommy that I would always take care of her.” Now, being older, I realize what an impossible situation I put him in. Did he really have a choice with my big hazel eyes looking up at him? He stood by his word and he stood by me. No matter what impact it had. He was going to take care of me. It was a change that transformed my life.

He is funny. This is one of those obvious characteristics about Mikie that everyone knows. To prove my point, I will list some common Mikie-isms that I grew up hearing and still hear to this day…

*Me: “Wow that’s awesome!” Mikie: “Who killed a possum?”

*Me: “It’s hot in here.” Mikie: “Your just a hot item.”

*Words of advice to my college friends…”Boys are like buses, you hop off one and another will come around.”

*When talking about work… “Can’t live on love all your life” or “Somebody’s gotta work for a living”

*He’s called every boyfriend I’ve ever had a “hairy-leg” or if he didn’t like them it was “old DH”…I won’t say what DH stands for. lol.

*He can never remember my friends names, so he makes nicknames for them. My favorite was Amy’s. He called her Hollywood.

*He picked Bret as his son-in-law. Well, it was with something he commonly did when we were out and about to embarrass me “So, I’m looking for a son-in-law.” Bret was the first one I actually knew and wasn’t a stranger. Mikie didn’t know what to think when Bret said “Well, I’ve been trying, but she won’t have anything to do with me.”

*The best were all the songs he use to make up. I can’t for the life of me remember the words, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Mikie was in the shower and I heard singing coming from the bathroom.

He is strong. I have never met anyone with so many interesting, but heart breaking stories. I love sitting and listening to them. He has been on his own, working, since he was 11. He has built a great life for himself and our family on his own. His life could’ve taken so many wrong directions, but he didn’t let it. He works harder than anyone I’ve ever met and loves it. Hard work is his first love. The most amazing thing about what he does as a Dad is that no one was there to show him what a Dad is suppose to do. He has been learning it along the way with an open heart from the love of Erica, me, Keisha, Myca, and Macy, and Abe.

He is generous and kind. He would literally give the shirt off his back. He would give away everything if he didn’t realize long ago how and who will take advantage of you. The way he shows love is by giving. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “Do you need any money?” I swore that when I got out of college, that answer would never be “yes” again, but I know if it were, he wouldn’t hesitate if he had it.

He is protective. When Bret called and asked if he could propose to me, Mikie’s answer was simply “You better never hurt her”.

He will even get his nails painted. One of Myca’s favorite things to do is paint nails and do make-up. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen Mikie’s nails painted (okay…he may kill me for that one). It absolutely melts my heart though. The best is every year he dresses up with Myca and now Macy for Halloween. They’ve been Pooh and the honey pot, Mickey and Minnie, and the list goes on.

He is my Dad. Happy birthday and Father’s Day Mikie. Thank you for always being there. I love you.

Happy Father’s Day to all you daddy’s out there. Happy Father’s Day to my wonderful father-in-law, Read. Hope I’m always your favorite daughter-in-law