The Bikini Diaries

We're back! Back from our fabulous vacation in Dunedin, which is located in the Tampa Bay area. I feel refreshed, but partly a little sad because I have simply fallen in love with the area. I know...I know, I do love KY so very much. There's so much beauty here and I love being around my family and all my new and old friends. There's truly no place like home. BUT...the beach...the beautiful golden sunset...the quant towns with the cute little stores...the cool little bars...and MOSTLY, the SEAFOOD. Now if I could find a way to combine all my favorite things about KY with my favorite things about FL, and move all my loved ones there...including my wonderful clients...well, that may just be Heaven for me. I seriously would move there just for the yummy golden light in the evenings. There's just something different about it. Something that embraces my laid back style and makes it okay for me to break all the rules (photography wise) and still have something quite gorgeous to look at.

Speaking of something gorgeous to look at...

So, after much debate, I decided to go with a bikini this year. This is probably meaningless to most of you and you're wondering "really why do I care what you wore?" But this was quite traumatic for me, as I'm sure it is for many women. My weight has fluxuated so much throughout the years, with the biggest "problem" always being my toosh. Oh yes...my toosh. If you're lucky enough to be in our very tight knit group, you will know that it even has it's own nickname. That's right. In a movie about me, it would probably be it's own character. Thanks to our friend, Bryan, it once had it's own Wikipedia entry (I say "once had" because believe it or not, wikipedia does monitor it very well and it was taken down pretty fast as it was obviously a joke). Okay...really it's not THAT out of control, but it's just been one of those things that's stuck with my friends. It doesn't even bother me. Back when I was semi in shape, this was all a good thing. However, now it's one of my many sources of...well...stress. Stress when it comes to picking out those God awful things we actually wear in public...swim suites. I have to get *just* the right bottom to cover everything. Now I'm not happy with my tummy, so I was convinced I had to have *just* the right tankini. While shopping, I didn't love anything I ran across. Then something hit me. If I'm ever going to be truly happy with myself and my body, I need to own it. Wear what makes me happy and what makes me feel good. Not that my tummy showing makes me feel fabulous, but I'm comfortable and am happy enough to let myself enjoy the cute little polka dot top. I'm sure we've all thought to ourselves "oh girl...you do not need to be wearing that". For me, that has, for the most part, turned to "oh you go girl. good for you."

Another fear I had to face was flying. I really hate flying, but I also hate long road trips (I know...how boring am I), so I decided to pick the one that would be over in 2 hours, instead of 13. My stomach sinks every time we take off. I try to breathe and remember all the people who fly often. I try to think of specific trips that friends, family, or even famous people have taken and the fact that they had to fly to get there.  Then my attention turns to magazines, my journal, iPod, or anything else to make the time go faster. This time I decided to start on my project of writing stories of all the important events in my life. I've been a little obsessed with passing on our story and the idea of living life to it's fullest lately. I started with our wedding and haven't finished just yet.  Well, in the end, our plane obviously didn't crash and barely had any turbulence for that matter (when we did I just kept saying to myself..."it's like bumps in the road...bumps in the road").

Along with my obsession to pass along our story and the idea of  living life to it's fullest, is this list that I've been working on and talking about constantly. More about that shortly, but for now, just know that on this list is "parasailing again". That is one thing I got to mark off. As scared as I am of heights and things of that nature, I have wanted to go parasailing again since my sister Keisha and I got to experience it in Hawaii. It was truly the best experience I ever had. It's so relaxing and beautiful. It was absolutely amazing to get to experience this with Bret. He had never gone and was also surprised by how calming it is up there. Of course, he liked to add another aspect to it...call it curiousity or knowing how to make me pee myself scare me to death. Here's Bret, "so I wonder if we fell how long it would take for us to hit the water? Well, we would definitely die falling this far. You know the weakest part of this rig are the clips? Can you see any sharks in the water their getting ready to dip us in?" Here's me, "Shut up. Seriously...stop it. What was that noise? Are my clips squeking? Are they bringing us in or is there something wrong?" I promise, in between there was, "I'm so glad we got to experience this together. I love you."  Then back to, "Really...shut up".

On our very last day, Bret decided to give me a great big surprise. He's not always the romantic type, but he can be awfully thoughtful sometimes. He had been telling me all week I had a surprise coming. I had little hints along the way...not very good hints...but hints none the less. Of course I didn't guess it, but I'm so glad I didn't. Surprises are best when they're, well, surprises. What was this surprise? Oh...the spa. Yes...my feet, hands, face, and everything else...was so happy and relaxed. What a perfect way to end a beautiful vacation.

Peace and much much love,

Cilla